Well, what an apt way to start the week of valentine's with a lesson on interpersonal communication! To start the ball rolling, just a little info about what is interpersonal communication: Interpersonal communication occurs when there is an established relationship with the other party (usually two parties). This kind of two-person, face-to-face communication can also be termed as "dyadic communication".
In our daily interpersonal/dyadic communication with others, you must have noticed that we react to and behave differently when interacting with different individuals. This does not mean we're schizophrenic or have split personalities; rather, we have different degrees (or stages) of relational development with each individual.
For example, you would talk about the weather with a schoolmate you bumped into on the bus, but you wouldn't be caught talking about how you had serious diarrhea over the weekend, or that your family is running into some bad financial situation (unless you're really open about such things!) to them.
The Mark Knapp's Relational Development Model draws out the various stages relationships go through. It may probably be very technical to break relationships down into such dry and predictable stages, yet often than not this model has been proven true over time.
(Just picture yourself going the steps on the left and coming down on the right.)And yes, since Valentine's day is around the corner it would only be suitable to use a romantic relationship to exemplify the stages, right? :p
Jack and Rose from the movie Titanic..This movie has always remained one of my favorite movies of all times probably because of the love story behind it! I'm sure many of you are also familiar with the story of the Titanic lovers (:
The initiating stage came when they had the opportunity to meet on the Titanic of course, when Rose had wanted to jump off the ship and Jack managed to stop her in time.
Experimenting came next when they began spending time with each other and learning about each other through those times when Rose would steal over to the lower class deck to find Jack.
Intensifying came when Jack and Rose were seen together more often and Jack was introduced to Rose's family and friends. This is also where one of the famous Titanic scene happened
Integrating was probably one of the most memorable scenes of the movie, which is Jack drawing a nude picture of Rose and thereafter both of them running away from Rose's fiance. Of course, one could never forget the car scene which made that "hand sliding down the misted windows" scene such a hit
Bonding sadly never came for them both as they were separated before they could tie the knot.And then their relationship was tragically (Dissolution) terminated when Jack died in the frigid waters of the Atlantic Ocean.
As you can see, relationships do not necessarily follow the Knapp's model strictly. Some may be stuck at one stage, while other flunctuate between stages. There are of course the coming apart stages that also progressively show how couples eventually become separate individuals.Each stage signifies a different communication pattern and behaviour towards one another. Hopefully after reading this post, you may be more successful in sussing out if your valentine's day date is worth future dates. haha
wow. it did not occur to me that our everyday interactions with people are actually affected by things such as the kind of relationship established between one another. i mean we don't go thinking like "hmmm we are at the initiating stage, i shall not disclose so much information to him/her", but it's rather instinctive to us. and then there are some people whom we choose to be "acquaintances" with and usually just have small talk with them if we EVER bump into them..i guess this kind of relationship will forever remain at the experimenting stage! haha
ReplyDeleteI remember watching Titanic when I was in Class 2;hence,it did not have that much of impact on me apart from the fact that the sinking part was scary.But when I saw it later i.e when I was mature enough to understand the intensity and depth of it , I just loved the movie. Indeed the Knapp's model is relevant in our day to day lives and is used in movies by most of the directors to demonstrate a love story.I ma sure your post will definitely help people to decide on their love lives....Haha
ReplyDeleteGosh. There is actually a model for relationship developments..how technical could people make life to be?! To me, all these are simply theoretical..and like how you've pointed out in the end, most relationships do not necessarily follow the Knapps' Model of Relationship Development in the end. (Which actually makes me kind of wonder why and how it was invented in the first place!)
ReplyDeleteAnnon: Yea..i guess models like these are just theories for people who like to study the sciences of human relationships/psychology. for normal people like us..if it happens, it just happens! haha. and yea some relationships will never progress beyond a certain stage!
ReplyDeleteSruti: haha. i only that such simple steps could be used to help people in their love lives! but i guess it does help us understand relationships between people better. (:
ReplyDeleteElaine: Totally agree with you yet again. =x haha I feel that such theories are not really applicable in real life after all. However, like u said earlier, i feel that such theories do help us to understand why human beings behave the way they do..and also understand how to communicate with others better.
I'm no love guru, but i think being yourself on a date is the best thing you can do for yourself and your potential future spouse.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've seen and heard thus far, trying too hard can land you in really hot soup, and I'm not referring to the restaurant menu's.
Actually I think those lovers on the Titanic did develop a close bond which is played out when they were both trying to stay alive in the freezing waters. Years later she still remembers the times they shared. So Knapp's model looks ok from this perspective.
ReplyDeleteHOG/Korh: I think other than being yourself on a first date, you must also try to impress the other party by trying hard what. only that way will we be able to leave a good lasting impression that will lead on to future dates!
ReplyDeletehaha of course we also should not try too hard to stick to that Knapp's Model..which is def trying too hard. it's not a proven dating model anw. haha
Hin: Yeah the Knapp's Model in way does show rather accurately the development of the bond between the Titanic lovers. I think that's also the reason why this movie has been so memorable to many across the world!
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